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So I am trying to do something new here.
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I suppose it's narration.
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I suppose it's just talking.
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It could be called yapping to me.
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But I still think it's important.
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And I'm going to try to do it more, so bear with me on it.
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Narration is really important to me because when I write words, they're just
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Maybe words on paper, words online.
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Words that no one knows but myself how to read.
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I read with a cadence.
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I speak with one especially.
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And I think that goes back to my musicianship roles I have.
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my internal rhythm,
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the fact that I'm a drummer,
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the fact that I'm a classically trained percussionist,
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and that somehow watching the waveform dance on my phone as I speak into this microphone,
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seeing it is almost like finding home again.
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It's kind of where I grew up at, watching waveforms dance in
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in Daws and Ableton Live and everywhere.
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I think there's something really special in digital audio and being able to
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re-record everything to make it,
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I suppose,
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perfect,
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but is perfect what you want and is perfect what you will ever get,
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even in a performance that you can make perfect?
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Is it meant to be?
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I don't think so.
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Because for me,
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when I make digital music,
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electronic music,
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classical compositions with sample libraries that aren't technically real,
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but you wouldn't be able to tell the difference anyway,
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so I guess it's perfect.
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And then the back and forth is, if it's real, are you a poser?
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Are you a fraud?
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Does it even matter if you are?
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If you have the confidence to say you aren't?
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And that's where I see it.
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That's how I feel for myself.
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To me, earnesty means everything.
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And to most people, I think it's what matters too.
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But what's earnesty when no one can see between the lines of you?
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What's earnesty when there is
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no replicant of you,
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when you're the only vessel for yourself,
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when you're the only thing that can wake up through cancers,
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through chemotherapy,
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through immunosuppressants,
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through - feeling your body shut down in real time,
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and then waking up and you still being alive through it.
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Where does it go from there?
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And where do you stand with it?
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I'm curious.
xoxoxo
-alice
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