i can be whomever you want, yet i choose to be, still.
in unwavering noise and new found agency in performance, where do you stand?
there’s power in performing, the art, and the nature it may embody. but those are the naturals that shine over the dreading reality.
-the time practicing
-the ego you gain
-the world changes
and best of all,
you change with it
change is often looked at as a hard task, maybe the insurmountable idea that everyone wants, but can never just…grasp, for some reason.
it’s idealized, it’s romanticized…it’s fantasized!!
and i run the other way from it, time and time.
there’s no real way to prepare for change like you may prepare for a performance.
performances are strict, adhere to a script, practiced, a routine is built, you fall in love, you fall out of love, suddenly a performance you’ve been working on for, years? changes, almost randomly. it may bleed into your personality, or life too much, it becomes overbearing. you wallow in a new disdain for the performance and the vessel in how it comes to life.
you.
do you change the script? or mold to it?
method acting? is becoming the art a bad thing?
where do i even stand with it, has it already bled out in me? so much that i don’t even recognize i’m losing out in rapid rates.
suddenly i realize i never was the performance, i was never the blood in my veins, i was never the embodiment of something bigger, grander, better.
i’m just me.
you’re just you,
more often than not consuming. like i do.
less often, screaming.
embodying panic now,
shed whatever weight fits,
draw out the marrow to help someone else,
i am not a martyr, but i would help to mend the fear of the world in every moment if i have the chance.
if i allowed myself to have the chance, i am not a martyr
i am not a martyr
i am not a martyr
i am not a martyr
but for you,
i would waver all the chances,
to get you to see the world as i do
.be well.
-alice