dear Madelyn

i'm sorry about the floods.

"Dearest Madelyn,
I remember as kids, you hated the name Madelyn.
It's beautiful to have seen you take that name, back to yourself.

You never let me call you it, so I did not.

You were always the one soul that - I could say, is as strong as mine.
You lived it, too.

I'm sorry, 
And I wish that even through my haze,
I would have reached out, I could have used a chat too.

I walk for your betterment,
and i still hate psychedlic rock.

I miss you.
-Rest now."

This was in September,
my dearest - first childhood best friend.

Passed.

And coincidentally enough, I was in the hospital, at the same time she was. September 5th,

The flood that hit North Carolina, that caused a rationing of IV supplies, we both felt it. Myself however, got two blood transfusions - And a chance at a new life.
I, myself.
Was paralyzed for near 3 days…for my own health reasons but,
I was discharged the 6th of September, herself…passed on the 5th.

I’ve been writing about mysterious floods in prosed words, through tactics no one but myself, can understand - however.
-This is my letter, right back to her.

I was beginning a new life, coming out of my paralysis,
I taught myself how to walk
I read, daily.
I write, even more so, now…again.

I think back to the person of myself she knew,
One conjured through years of neglect,
Abuse.
No ordinary way - I would best assume.

And,
On this night, nearing completion,
As myself, nearing a betterment - better life, in whole.
I think back to days of 7th grade bickering,
Of tourturing each other w/ non-complimentary music tastes.
Of,
two souls who just,

Knew.
From one another,
Back in ourselves,
Forward in - Each other.

I told myself, I wouldn’t say sorry.

That I wouldn’t use a singular ‘I’ - something I’m trying to get better at.

In itself, I wanted to see her.
So when I try extra hard not to do anything,

It’s just something I hope I do,
for her.

Rest, dear.

-alice

xoxo