classical music!! do you, love, or hate that? drones of strings, yearning into the next notes - i have a fun game when listening to it all. it involves predicting the next notes, you can call it an 'active listening', too. but it's a mental game of, "oo, will that note, or tone...or... small ambient wind noise in the left ear that is, slightly saturated in the mid/sides, be there in the next 4 beats? what about if i pay attention to the 1k-4k bands of frequencies in my head and see how the rest of a song interacts with it, or if i --" that's how i process a song. it's like talking to it, i do the same with books. wrestling with it, i really do take my time. i keep asking myself if that's really pleasurable, to be that incessant on something like...music? i do it w/ my favorite ambient songs too...- here's one tape 2 - Alicks and i answer back to myself, just like the songs tell me too. "yes it is." - 'how could you not, listen to tones like that?' i've found myself really digging into why i latch onto songs like 'tape 2', and i think these days. i know why. the complete lack of a sense, i would say! i think one that has been an evolutionary survival skill & sense, our whole existence. 'visualization' - so let me ask, when you close your eyes? do you see, anything? a picture? semblences of one? chasms? a full movie picture, maybe!! i'd sure hope, because when i close my eyes, it's...not black. nor gray, there's no...anything. nothing, isn't a color, to me, closing my eyes welcomes a new plane to see off, not towards... but into. still, not an abyss. i can't get lost in it, for sure - it's just...nothing so with that, i have a few options i guess. skulk in the nothingness of myself or glue myself to every other perceivable sense i have, but now with these eyes, closed. i'm able to maybe, feel it all? visualization for others, is just interalization of the world for me. i guess that's the same field of idea, but the practice. myself gets a complete inversed reaction, i can't say i don't have an 'imagination' but - what do i have then? a hypersensitivity to the world, too much feeling, emotional, poor spacial recognition, thoughts that run on, day-dreaming, lack of focus on things that 'matter' - too. i'd sit on a stump for it all, for eternity and be able to never satisfy, whatever came into my head first. but if that, i'd just be sitting around, doing nothing... to everyone else. but the labyrinths, and how thoughts can echo back, to forth, in degrees that i cannot even measure. i just get to sit on that stump, i don't bother much else, there. but like when people jolt me out of sleep by, shaking me a bit too hard when i oversleep an alarm, or.. i can never seem to find the "time" to do the One thing we all know i should be doing - relaxing? resting? no. i just procrastinate. and i love to, sometimes.
muscle memory needs rest to set in, i learned that w/ drumming, and classical percussion.
doing things “off the left”, or whatever your weakest side may be, should never be 1:1 with your dominant hand but-
i like to train my weak sides, my weak hands, those weak traits of mine. to at least hold a specific characteristic.
no need for perfection, a willingness to do it, different…works best.
they need to accomplish one goal to work in tangent with my other traits,
‘be different, amplify the dominance…you’ll never win w/ hostility, and i’ll never be good enough, trying to do it all…the same ways all the time.’
worksforme
xoxoxo
-alice
